Thursday, May 31, 2018

Ten pieces of paper I found in shopping trolleys this month that I thought were shopping lists but aren't

Hi. I work two days a week at a supermarket where my job is to push the shopping trolleys from the car-park back into the store.

Yesterday a guy I work with told me that the job was starting to feel a bit repetitive. "Pardon?" I said. "A bit repetitive" he said. "Pardon?" I said. "A bit repetitive" he said.

One thing that helps keep the job interesting for me is I collect shopping lists. 

Sometimes though, I think I've found a shopping list but it's not until I pick it up and turn it over that I realise I've actually found something else. Here's ten non-lists I found this month.

I thought I found a shopping list but turns out I actually found...


1. A map.

2. A reminder to go to Mecca.

3. Matching notes to Mum and Dad.


4. A request from Grace's Mum.

5. A Medical Certificate.

6. A ripped up note from someone who bumped into someone else's car while parking.

7. Directions to the Big Fight.

8. Entry to Heaven.

9. Phill's Home Improvements.

And number 10. A perfume sample card.

Now that I've got these ten things I may as well put them to good use.

Thanks to the medical certificate I won't be going in to work tomorrow, instead I'll go to Mecca.  

I've never been to Mecca before but I should have no trouble finding it thanks to my new map. And if I bump into a car in the car-park, or if I bump into the ankle of anyone named Grace, it's ok as I've already got my notes ready for that as well.

I'm gonna send the matching love letters to my parents and then call up Phill from Phill's Home Improvements to ask if he wants to watch the Big Fight with me.

Anyway thanks for reading, let me know if you're feeling a bit stinky and would like me to send you the Dior perfume card. Other than that, hope you're having a nice day and see you in Heaven.

Thursday, May 24, 2018

The Eagleman has landed

Hey, here's a quick drawing I did of the Athenaeum Theatre on Monday night.
Well, technically it's not a drawing of the Athenaeum Theatre.

I was going to draw the Athenaeum Theatre but then I started drawing a motorbike parked opposite the Athenaeum Theatre. I spent so long drawing the bike that by the time I'd finished that it was time to go inside the theatre and see a talk by American neuroscientist Professor David Eagleman, in conversation with award winning journalist Natash Mitchell.

Much like the tyres on the motorbike I'd just drawn, I was wheelie pumped to hear David Eagleman speak, especially after having watched this great TED talk he gave in 2015.
Usually when I listen to talks like this it's while I'm working in the studio, and so just to keep my hands busy while I listened here's a little drawing I did from up the back.
Eagleman was brilliant and contagiously optimistic. He's one of those scientist rockstars that's both incredibly smart and also incredibly skilled at articulating his work in a way that dummies like me can understand.

After the talk Eagleman did a book signing, which was awesome and in preparation for it I made a ceramic replica of a book of his that I'm currently reading, The Brain, which he was kind enough to autograph.
(Photo by Emmy Clifton)
Here's a photo of my finished sculpture of his book The Brain, next to a clay sculpture I just made of a can of tuna, (aka. Brain food).

Eagleman was a total legend. His emphasis on the importance of trying new things was so convincing that later that night when my housemate Jodie told me she was doing a computer coding workshop I said "count me in!" and I signed up too.

And so yeah, here's a photo of me at last nights Coding 101 workshop.
(Photo by Jodie Woodburn)
If you look closely at my screen you'll see I've typed <h1>da Vinci</h1>

And so there you have it, I dunno who this "Dan Brown" guy thinks he is but clearly I'm the one who wrote The Da Vinci Code.

Ha, and I never would've written The Da Vinci Code if it wasn't for David Eagleman encouraging my brain to soar. So here's a little drawing of Eagleman, as an Eagle-Man.

The next thing I wanted to quickly share is that immediately after the Eagleman talk on Monday night I went to another Wheeler Centre talk, also at the Athenaeum Theatre, by the hilarious English comedian Robert Webb, in conversation with the phenomenal writer Clementine Ford.

Here's a little drawing I did from up the back.
And after the talk Robert Webb also did a book signing, and was kind enough to autograph a ceramic sculpture I made of his incredible memoir.
(Photo by Emmy Clifton)
Webb's book, titled How Not To Be A Boy, is a stunning look at gender and masculinity and is the best book I've read in a long time. 

If you're interested in hearing more you should for sure read this book, in the meantime though here's a great podcast I think is pretty special titled Robert Webb dissects masculinity, grief, career and his complicated relationships.

Here's a couple of photos of the sculpture, featuring a little birdy.
In other news, if you happen to be out near Ringwood during the next five weeks please be sure to visit the exhibition Monuments to the Everyday that I'm in at Realm Artspace with artists Carly Fisher and Nathan Taylor, on until July 15th. 

I'll be hosting a drawing workshop at the gallery from 10am to 12pm on Thursday July 5th, suitable for people of all ages and skill levels, pencil it into your diary, then bring that pencil along and come draw with me!
And finally, the new Star Wars Han Solo movie is out today!! Yay!

If, like me, you plan on dressing up to go see it, then here's my hot tip- All you gotta do is put your hoody on backwards, fasten a belt around your tummy, put on your dressing gown, stuff a bike light into the broken K-mart lightsaber you still have from 2004 and hey presto, you're ready to defend the galaxy.
Obi-wan Kennyobi
Thanks heaps for reading, be kind to the others and go easy on yourself, and here's the finished drawing of the Athenaeum Theatre.

Thursday, May 17, 2018

The ball's in your Court...ney Barnett

Hey, last Friday the incredible painter and wonderful person Yvette Coppersmith was awarded this years Archibald prize. 

Here's a quick portrait I did of Yvette Coppersmith, standing in front of her amazing portrait of Yvette Coppersmith. Congrats Yvette Coppersmith!!

Looking at all the other great Archibald finalists I was excited to see one of my fave singer-songwriters is also in there as a subject; Courtney Barnett, painted by Melbourne artist Melisa Grisancich. Here's a little drawing I did of Grisancich's painting.

And speaking of Courtney Barnett; she has a new album coming out tomorrow! Which "coincidentally" is also my birthday!

It's so cool even though I've never met Courtney Barnett and she has no idea I even exist that she still somehow definitely remembered my birthday and decided to give me this special b-day prezzie! 

And sure it's a little annoying that her record company must've forced Courtney to share the album that she made just for me with the rest of the world as well, but hey I guess that's just show biz. 

So thanks heaps for the birthday album Courtney!! And here I was thinking that nothing could top the birthday email that Subway sent me.

You can pre-order the new Courtney Barnett album by clicking here. Or you can do what I'm gonna do and just wait till it comes out tomorrow and get it using the JB gift voucher your brother gave you for Christmas.

Here's a little painting on board that I did of the voucher I will be trading tomorrow for the album.

Ha, anyway I don't really have any reason to be plugging the new Courtney Barnett album aside from the fact that I'm really excited to hear it! 

But another thing I'm perhaps even more excited to plug is the exhibition Monuments To The Everyday, featuring Carly Fisher, Nathan Taylor and myself, which opened this weekend at Realm Artspace in Ringwood. 

A huge thanks to everyone who braved the cold for the opening but if you weren't able to see it there's still plenty of time as it's running until July 15!

Here's the cover of the exhibition catalogue, which is available for free at the show, featuring an essay by Melbourne based writer (currently in Germany) Jane O'Neil.
But so yeah, I'm turning 30 tomorrow and in the meantime I'm clinging to the last moments of today by doing lots of online surveys while I still get to tick the box of falling into the very cool demographic of being in my twenties...

Ha, but so if unlike Courtney Barnett and Subway you've somehow forgotten to get me a bday pres then please remember I still collect abandoned shopping lists!

Quick side note on that; Coming into the rainy season you have to be very careful picking up lists due to the fact they tear so easily when they're wet, so if picking up lists outside be sure to use all those skills you acquired when you were a kid playing the game Operation.

Here's a particularly fragile list I recently rescued from a puddle.
And here it is the next day, all nice and dried out.
But so yeah, if you have an old list lying around I would love it if you could please send it my way at P.O. Box 5039, Moreland West. Victoria. 3055. 

Perhaps you could just make a list that says "Send kenny this piece of paper", and then when you get to the post box you'll be able to tick it off the list.

Ha, but ok thanks so much for reading, I hope you're really well, and the last thing I wanna mention is that in addition to the show I'm in at Realm Artspace I've also been painting a mural on the outside of the gallery, next to Ringwood library, so if you get a chance to see the show please don't forget to check the mural out as well!

And in the meantime here's a sneak of how it's coming along.
(The mural's not even complete yet but already it's proving to be a bit of a photo hotspot.)
Much like the above pic I also took my photo with Gromit, but rather than drink a smoothie in front of him I found that he likes it best when you scratch under his chin. 
And tomorrow at the mural I'll be sure to bring along my discman and my new CD and then Gromit and I can each share an ear of my headphones. 
A fun fact about Gromit is he's nearly thirty too! 

And so as the two of us listen to Courtney sing Need A Little Time we'll be sure to think about everything that's lead us to this point, taking a little time out and enjoying our free six inch sub.

Friday, May 04, 2018

The Empire Strikes Cat

Happy May the Fourth!

Here's a new ceramic sculpture of Princess Leia, photographed as she was just about to quickly turn around, fire her pistol and blast Jabba the Cat out into space.

Speaking of space, I'm in an upcoming three person exhibition at Realm Art space in Ringwood, Victoria. 

The show's called Monuments to the Everyday and is curated by the astronomically amazing Emily Jones. 

The two shining art stars I'm excited to be exhibiting alongside are Melbourne based sculptor Carly Fischer and Tasmanian based painter Nathan Taylor. Here's one of his paintings on the flyer, as seen here in the current issue of Art Guide Australia.

The exhibition's on from May 10th until July 15th so hopefully you donut miss out on seeing it! 

The opening's from 2-4pm on Saturday May 12th and will be officially opened by the Mayor of Maroondah CR Lora Lamont, followed by guest speaker Kieran Robinson. Very fancy. So please scribble it into your diary, punch the co-ordinates into your spaceship and come along if you can!

Hopefully cat-ch you there and in the meantime here's another photo that was taken a long time ago in a galaxy fur, fur away. 
May the paws be with you.