Tuesday, October 21, 2014

A simple Twistie of fate

Hey pal, thanks for stopping by. Here's a ceramic sculpture I made of half a bag of Twisties, it's photographed next to a ceramic sculpture I made of half a bowl of Twisties.
Here's the same set of sculptures but this time I've twisted it around and taken the photo from the opposite side.
And here's the same photo again, but this time I twisted it around just a little bit more.
And so alright, that was the introduction, now it's time for a little story with a little twist, and it goes a little something, like this; recently my friend Tracey purchased six of my Twisties' sculptures. (Thanks heaps Tracey, very much appreciated!) At the time Tracey was doing a residency in Berlin but we decided I should send them now anyway and that way they'd be waiting for her when she got back.

I figured the best way to package the Twisties was to put them into an actual Twisties packet. I then wrote a little note and sent it all off in an envelope.
About a week later I received a very nice email from Tracey's husband saying that he'd received the letter and he'd kept the note but that he'd accidentally thrown away the packet of Twisties thinking it was rubbish and so could he please have some more.

On the one hand it was a little sad because I had picked out my very favourite sculptures to send and now they've completely vanished without a Tracey, but on the other hand, the much bigger hand with orange cheesy fingertips, it's not that sad at all, I think it's pretty darn funny. 

What I like about it is it puts this image in my head of me eating Twisties while in line at the post office. I can picture it now, I'm there waiting to send Tracey a letter and by the time I get to the front of the line I've finished with the Twisties, so rather than bother trying to find a bin to put them in instead I just scrunch them into the envelope up against the letter. I figure Tracey'll probably be near a bin, she can just throw it out for me.

That's actually a pretty great idea, I should mail all my rubbish out to people. Imagine how much easier it would be to take the bins out on bin night if the bin was completely empty. And sure, if the bin was empty I wouldn't even need to take the bin out on bin night, but I still would anyway just to see the smile on the garbage mans face. And so you know what, yes, I now have a new business venture; Kenny Bintock's Junk Mail.

If you would like to sign up to receive Kenny Bintock's Junk Mail then all you have to do is send a self addressed stamped envelope to
Kenny Bintock. P.O Box 7127. Upper Ferntree Gully. Victoria. Australia. 3156.

And so in edition to a handwritten note you might also receive a banana peel, a bad drawing I scrunched up, a parking ticket, the lid to a yogurt... who knows what junk you'll get, that's the fun!

Ha, wait, this is terrible idea actually, I'm having second thoughts, it's possible that no-one is going to want my rubbish and by suggesting that you might it's probably only going to encourage you to send me yours. It's so rare that I receive mail, ha, so imagine how disappointing it would be if one of the few exciting times I did it was a lid to someones yogurt.

What's the opposite to junk? Whatever that is, let's send that to each other.

Anyway so the end of the story is that of course I sent Tracey some more Twisties, they came out of the kiln earlier in the week and I glazed them up good and first thing tomorrow morning I'll post them.

This time though rather than put the Twistie sculptures into a real Twisties packet I decided to make my own painting/sculpture of a Twisties packet specifically for Tracey's husband, I changed the words in a few places though, and so where the real packet normally says Twisties Cheese on my packet it says Tracey's squeeze.
Here's a shot of it twisting about in a little alley falling in with a bad crowd and making friends with an empty packet of smokes and a crushed bottle of iced tea.
And here it is again, this time in my favourite supermarket, amongst much more suitable companions;
While I was at the supermarket I couldn't help noticing that for a limited time only they're now selling Hot Dog flavoured Twisties. Did you know about this? Then why didn't you tell me?! 

I know they always say that ignorance is twist but I just had to know whether these Hotdog twisties really tasted like hot dogs, so I bought a pack.

Today is exactly 25 days from the City2Sea race that my buddy Alex and I are running in, and so in a last minute attempt at training for that on Sunday night Al and I went on a 4km hike up a mountain. When we finally reached the peak it was hotdog time.

And so here they are, hot dog flavoured Twisties in hotdog buns with mustard.
At this point a big boxing kangaroo hopped out from behind a tree so we asked her to please take a photo for us.
And here's another photo taken by her joey.
It kind of looks like we're about to be crushed by that falling tree behind us, but tree or no tree the hotdog flavoured Twisties were great. I think they actually do taste like hotdogs, ha, but maybe it's just all my head. They're very reddish in colour, at the very least I know that much isn't in my head.

After trying Hotdog flavoured Twisties in hot dog rolls with mustard it was only natural that earlier tonight when out to dinner with my pal I decided we ought to try Cheese flavoured Twisties on crackers.

And finally, the inevitable next step, a Chicken Twisties parmagiana.

One final note note about Twisties, because I am currently learning Italian, did you know that in Italy Twisties are called Fonzies? 

Apparently, (according to wikipedia), the Italian Fonzies are lighter in colour than Australian Twisties because "they do not use the bright orange food colouring", and also, unlike Australian Twisties, Fonzies are baked not fried. 

(I would amore to try them, so salve to any italiano readers out there, and if possible, per favore?)

Here's a photo that I found online of some guy holding a packet of Fonzies. 
And to finish it off, eeeeeeeeeeeeeey presto, here's a drawing I just did of Fonzie eating Fonzies.
And so yeah, thanks heaps for reading, ciao (that means cya), arrivederci (that means bye), and in conclusion (that's in english), I hope you've had a great day and that the week ahead is even greater, be sure to shake it up baby now, (shake it baby now), twistie and shout, (twistie and shout), c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon now baby now, (come on baby), c'mon and work it on out, (work it on out). 

You know you twistie little girl, (twistie little girl), you know you twistie so fine, (twistie so fine), c'mon and twistie little closer now, (twistie little closer), and let me know that you're mine, (twistie you're so sublime).

PS. For a second there I was considering throwing out my drawing of Fonzie eating Fonzies but I don't think I will, I think instead I'll keep it around just on the off chance that maybe you feel like signing up to Kenny Bintock's Junk Mail.
Acrylic and 225gsm paper. 21 x 29cm. 18.10.14

Friday, October 10, 2014

Watch out

Hey pal, how're you? It's a pretty scary world we live in, a lot of bad stuff seems to be going on and I'm not really sure how to make sense of it. One way to deal with it is to vacuum your car, so this morning I did that.
Now that the car's sorted let's get some closure on the whole strap keeper saga. 

So alright, I talked about all this a couple of posts back but just in case you missed it here's a quick catch up; Act one was that the strap keeper on my watch broke. I went to Mr. Watchworks for a replacement and they said that a new one would cost five dollars. As a fundraiser I made a strap keeper out of ceramic and offered to sell it for the price of a new strap keeper. 

Act two was that a wealthy art collector from Perth named Colleen purchased my ceramic strap keeper, (with an extremely generous fifty dollar tip). 

Now strap yourself in because it's time for the third and final act;

Upon my payment being processed I popped in to a post office in Prahran. (Adequate alliteration.) 

At the post office I sent a parcel to Colleen and a parcel to Phoebe. I also sent two postcards to Sydney and paid a $700 registration fee on my recently vacuumed car. 
Once the outbox had been sorted I returned to Mr. Watchworks with my broken strap keeper all set to get a new one.

That should've been the end of it but unfortunately the plan didn't run like clockwork. This time there was a different man working at Mr. Watchworks.

The other guy who'd served me had waved a new strap keeper in front of my face and said "Hey sucker, you want this? gimme five bucks!" I said I'd think about it and left to raise the cash.

This time however, when I went to Mr. Watchworks ready to be a sucker and part with my five bucks I was served by the different man who when I told him how my strap needing keeping he grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and snarled "get outta here kid, we don't sell no strap keepers round these ere' parts!" 

Now what am I gonna do???
Ha, hold that thought for a second, I just realised that my expression in that ridiculous photo looks surprisingly similar to the emoticon on the flyer for the fundraising exhibition on at Bus Projects.

if you just want to see the photo that I'm in, here it is;The last day of the show at Bus is tomorrow and to celebrate Bus is having "an evening of solo musical performances" in the gallery. I don't really know much about it but everything you need to know is written here in the facebook event. So yeah, if you're looking for a place to hang out tomorrow between 6 and 9, have a drink and see some music, (and especially if you haven't seen the show yet), then you should definitely stop by. Maybe even buy a limited edition print, or at least just come say hey, we'll have a great time.

Speaking of time, after my disappointment at Mr. Watchworks I tried another place; Mister Minit. Mister Minit told me he ain't got no strap keepers either.

Here I am in front of Mister Minit reading a book about chickens.
My favourite fact I read in the book is that chickens "Egg colour is often related to the colour of chicken's ears- red ears generally produce brown eggs and white ears white eggs." Now I'm very excited to go home and examine the ears and eggs of my chickens. I'll let you know my findings on that sometime soon.

Oh also I've got another chicken related fun-fact; so ok, I'm currently learning italian and as far as I can understand in italian you use different words if you're talking about something that is either feminine or masculine, right? So this can be tricky if you're trying to decide if something like a chair is masculine or feminine, but also, according to Italy, a chicken is a masculine word. Unless they're roosters, chickens (or "polls") are chicks. Am I crazy for thinking the word chicken should be feminine? Italian is hard.
But ok, after getting turned away by Mister Minit I next tried Watchmaker Golden Square on Little Collins Street. Again, no luck. 
It's a conspiracy I tell ya. You gotta believe me. The watch shops are all in on it, this goes all the way to the top. They sell us watches with cheap strap keepers and then bang, we have to cough up for a whole new watch band.

Buying a new watch band is what I ended up doing, I went to a fourth watch place, this time a place on Swanston Street called Downtown Revolution, and the guy there told me that for 16 dollars he'd put on a new watch band, a better one, one that had two strap keepers. $16 was higher than what I'd budgeted but it was a good deal and I took it.

Here I am, watchless as the day I was born, while a man puts a new band on my watch.
And here I am, captured on camera in the very first moment I put the watch around my wrist.
And so there you go, I paid 9 dollars more than I'd planned but I got a new strap and two new strap keepers, my watch is fixed, a happy ending, finroll credits. It's nice to have some time on my hands again. 


I was hoping that was where the story would finish. That's a nice place to end it. But unfortunately this afternoon I lost my watch! After all this, I went and left it on public transport. Ha, oh boy, and so wouldn't you know it, all I've got now is the old strap and a broken strap keeper.
But ok, there's no time in life to really worry about something like this, (at least I think there's no time, I can't know for certain as I don't have a watch), and so I decided to be a man about it and so I went to one of my favourite markets and I bought a new watch. 

So there you go, a new day a new watch. I could show you a photo but maybe I'll keep it a mystery. But ok, as well as sending some art to people on the other side of the country this week I also hand delivered my sculpture of a Milko to my pal Isabelle at Sarah Scout Gallery.
Here's a photo of my two sculptures of Milko's, and also my two sculptures of Red Skins, that I took a little while ago when I was at the milk bar.
While delivering the Milko to Sarah Scout Gallery I also got to scout out really nice show on there at the moment by Lisa Reid, so check that out if you're in the area. On a side note as well as being a great artist I'm pretty sure Lisa also runs the Alderman on Lygon Street, which is actually a nice little segue for me to remind you that the exhibition I'm in above the Alderman ends this Sunday afternoon.

But back to Sarah Scout Gallery, here's an awful drawing I did of Isabelle while we were talking.
The other time I drew Isabelle is currently on display in an exhibition up Punctum in Castlemaine. I didn't take this photo, I don't know who did, Isabelle sent it to me. From what I can gather it looks like she's drinking a Fanta.
And so yeah, you can go see that work, as well as the whole exhibition at Punctum Gallery up in Castlemaine. If you're lucky you might even be able to see Isabelle's old Fanta can if you go through the recycling bins. Or I don't know, maybe she didn't recycle, check the regular bins as well just in case.

Now that I've mentioned Bus, the Alderman and Castlemaine, another show that ends this Sunday is the Substation Contemporary Art Prize. As seen advertised here in front of a hoola hoop on platform one of Mitcham Station.
It's a little bit ridiculous to think that I'm in five shows at the moment, all of them special in their individual way. Here's the list incase I haven't jammed this information down your throat quite enough;

1. Bus Projects Print Fundraiser, at Bus Projects in Collingwood. The last day is this Saturday.

2. Future Now at Punctum Gallery in Castlemaine. Last day is this Sunday.

3. I probably don't like you, in the gallery formerly known as Death Be Kind, which is the gallery above the Alderman on Lygon Street. The last day to see this show is Sunday.


4. Substation Contemporary Art Award, at The Substation. The last day to see this show is Sunday.

And the fifth show of course is the one on at MUMA, which unlike the others doesn't end this weekend and is instead on until December 16. 

Here's a link to see the 34 photos that Heather Lighton took at the opening for The Thousands.

or if you'd rather just see the two with me in it, here they are, 
In addition to Art As A Verb there's also live readings of manifestos tomorrow at MUMA by three great Melbourne artists Bianca Hester, Christopher L.G. Hill and Anastasia Klose. Also, me. It's tomorrow, (Saturday October 10, probably today when you're reading this) at 3pm. you should come! 

The other two things that're happening at tomorrow at MUMA is that there'll be two 20 something year old women sitting on a plinth for Clarke Beumont's 2013 piece Co-existing, and also Jill Scott's tape performance will be happening again.
Which is a really great work, (especially when you see it in real life), but it's kind of funny. ever since I first saw it it's always just reminded me of this meme.
Frankston's where I went tonight actually, having dinner for my Muma's birthday, and speaking of MUMA I should really be figuring out now what I'm going to read tomorrow. On top of that I'm literally falling asleep as I write this. This post is no doubt full of clumsy sentences and spelling mistakes. I think I have to go to bed. 

I think for today I'll wrap it all up by showing you this video of my buddy Nelson Walkom singing You've got a friend in me.

The video just makes me really happy. I love this song and I love my bud Nelvis Presley and I hope you reading this blog know that when the road gets rough ahead and you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed, please just remember what you're old pal said, yeah you've got a friend in me. And I mean I know that some other folks might be a little bit smarter than I am, bigger and stronger too, but none of them will ever love you the way I do.. ha, well I'm sure you're very loveable so I bet that they will, but even still, you're gonna see it's our destiny, that you've got a friend in me, yeah you've got a friend in me. Goodnight. Thanks for reading. See you soon.

Saturday, October 04, 2014

Art as a Herb

Good morning, how'd you sleep? That's good. You snored by the way. Also, you said some really strange stuff through the night, some of it was pretty offensive. I think it might be a good idea for you to speak to a counsellor about it, but ok, we can talk about that after coffee, I'll put the kettle on, in the meantime though it's great that you're awake now because I have two exciting things to tell you! 
On a side note, if you're thinking about getting a tattoo on your foot, maybe this is the tattoo you should get. 

(If you're thinking of getting a tattoo on your shoulder you should probably get this as well, although it'll be less of a pun. Some people hate puns though, so maybe you'd be into that.)

The foot in the photo isn't mine in case you're wondering, I drew it on the foot of my great studio pal Alanna. Here's a photo I took of Alanna showing off your potential new tattoo to some guy she was talking to. 
I'm pretty sure after she showed it to the guy the two of them have fallen madly in love and are probably planning a weekend holiday in Tasmania as we speak. Or maybe they never spoke again, I'm not sure which I wasn't paying attention, what I am sure about though is that if you want love and success then I think this is the tattoo for you.

Anyway what was I talking about? Oh right, I've got two things to tell you! They're both very exciting and very delicious! (Well, actually only one of them is delicious.)

The first thing is that I'm in the next exhibition at MUMA, (the Monash University Museum of Art)! 

Amazing right?! Far out. Let's give that a second to sink in...
Ok now that we've let it sink in, the next thing you need to know is that it opens today! What are you doing today? As in Saturday, October 3? Cause if you're free then please come along to the opening from 3-5pm.

The show has been curated by Charlotte Day, Francis E. Parker and Patrice Sharkey, and is presented in association with the Melbourne Festival. 

The name of the show is "Art As A Verb" and so basically the theme is action based art. 

I guess I'm a pretty action based kind of artist, as seen here in this photo of me fighting a gladiator at the Colosseum. 
(The real action based aspect of that situation came after the photo was taken when the Gladiator and I had to agree on how many euros I owed him.)

As I said, Art As A Verb opens today, but if you can't make the opening it runs until December 16th. 

I've always loved MUMA, and so to be in this show is really a little bit of a dream come true. 

Oh and hey, on top of that, look, Art Guide magazine put it on their top five shows to see this week;
Ha, of course being in the top show to see this week has absolutely nothing to do with me, but it does have a huge amount to to do with the fact that some AMAZING artists, some of my heroes in fact, are in this show; you may have heard of Claes Oldenburg, who makes big plaster food, or Martin Creed, who turns a light switch on and off, or Marina Abramovic, who when not sitting on a chair is dancing with Jay Z, and Yoko Ono, who single handedly split up The Beatles.

(Ha, I know, I know, Yoko didn't single handedly split up The Beatles. I love Yoko. The Beatles had been drifting apart and wanting to work on other projects involving other people for a long time coming. That's just how it goes when you travel down a long and winding road working with the same three people for ten years, eight days a week, eventually it might make you want to twist and shout.)

Here's the complete list of all the incredible artists (and also me) who're in the show;
Marina Abramović, Vito Acconci, Bas Jan Ader, Paweł Althamer & Artur Mijewski, Francis Alÿs, Billy Apple, John Baldessari, Brown Council, Catherine or Kate, Clark Beaumont, Martin Creed, DAMP, John Davis, George Egerton-Warburton, Peter Fischli & David Weiss, Ceal Floyer, Heath Franco, Alicia Frankovich, Andrea Fraser, Ryan Gander, Agatha Gothe-Snape, Matthew Griffin, Bianca Hester, Hi Red Center, Christopher L G Hill, Tim Johnson, Allan Kaprow, Peter Kennedy & Mike Parr, Sister Mary Corita Kent, Anastasia Klose, Laresa Kosloff, Jiří Kovanda, George Kuchar, George Maciunas, Basim Magdy, Paul McCarthy, Ian Milliss, Kate Mitchell, Bruce Nauman, Rose Nolan, Claes Oldenburg, Yoko Ono, Ariel Orozco, Deborah Ostrow, Campbell Patterson, Kenny Pittock (that's me!), Stuart Ringholt, Sarah Rodigari, Robert Rooney, Martha Rosler, Eva Rothschild, Tony Schwensen, Jill Scott, Kateřina Šedá, Christian Thompson, Rirkrit Tiravanija, Gabrielle de Vietri and Franz West.
The last thing I'll say about Art As A Verb today, (because I wanna give you time to go do your hair, put on pants and come to the opening), is that you can click on this part of the sentence if you'd like to read the generous write up that it got on The Thousands, written by R. Smutt.

So ok, the other thing I wanted to tell you in this blog post I'll just mention really briefly, both because I don't want to take any attention away from the MUMA exhibition and also because it's not nearly as interesting as the MUMA exhibition, is that I realised I've been using instagram wrong all this time. 

Instagram isn't for photos of my art, it's for photo's of my food, and so for this month of October I've stupidly committed myself to posting a photo of every single thing I eat.

I'm not sure if this is possible, and I am sure that anyone following me will pretty quickly stop doing so, but if for some reason you're the kind of tasteless weirdo who wants to know everything I eat, then you're in for a treat.

You can follow me on instagram by clicking on this sentence.

My best bud Tom commented on one of my photos at the end of the first day and said "You eat a lot less than I do. And you eat a lot more healthy." And I answered that yeah I think I'm eating less so I don't have to post as often, and also I'm eating healthier than usual because of it as well. Obviously by doing this project it is altering the way I eat, I think it would be ridiculous not to acknowledge that.

At the end of the second night I posted a photo of the Sultana Bran I was eating and my friend Sarah wrote "Eat more greens!" Ha, and so I think maybe that's the point of this as well, to have people be able to say things like that to me.

I think the hardest part about it is making sure my phone's always charged. Right now it's 10.30am and my phone is as flat as a... I don't know, pancake, that's the expression isn't it? Pancakes aren't that flat though. They're at least a good 4 to 6 mil. The ones I make are pretty thick because I like to put in banana, blueberry and bacon. I haven't made them in a while, maybe I will, and if I do I'll be sure to instagram it.

I actually hate this idea already. It's exhausting and I feel very exposed. But I'm committed to it now and hopefully the month will fly by. Actually one nice thing that happened around about midnight last night is I posted a photo of the peanut butter sandwich I'd just made;
and ten minutes later a person named Ruth in Los Angeles posted a photo to me of the peanut butter wrap that she was having at the same time for breakfast.
Ha, anyway I know it's no big deal for two strangers on opposite sides of the world to be eating peanut butter at the same time, but it's kind of nice to be able to acknowledge it.

But ok, I hope I haven't bored you too much at the end of this post. I'm pretty tired. I should go look directly into the sun or something to wake up. It's a beautiful day, please come to MUMA, (Building F, Monash University, Caulfield Campus, 900 Dandenong Road, Caulfield East), and see this incredible show that they've done such an wonderful job putting together, and yeah, come say hi and let's have a beer. 

Muma's the word.