Tuesday, October 21, 2014

A simple Twistie of fate

Hey pal, thanks for stopping by. Here's a ceramic sculpture I made of half a bag of Twisties, it's photographed next to a ceramic sculpture I made of half a bowl of Twisties.
Here's the same set of sculptures but this time I've twisted it around and taken the photo from the opposite side.
And here's the same photo again, but this time I twisted it around just a little bit more.
And so alright, that was the introduction, now it's time for a little story with a little twist, and it goes a little something, like this; recently my friend Tracey purchased six of my Twisties' sculptures. (Thanks heaps Tracey, very much appreciated!) At the time Tracey was doing a residency in Berlin but we decided I should send them now anyway and that way they'd be waiting for her when she got back.

I figured the best way to package the Twisties was to put them into an actual Twisties packet. I then wrote a little note and sent it all off in an envelope.
About a week later I received a very nice email from Tracey's husband saying that he'd received the letter and he'd kept the note but that he'd accidentally thrown away the packet of Twisties thinking it was rubbish and so could he please have some more.

On the one hand it was a little sad because I had picked out my very favourite sculptures to send and now they've completely vanished without a Tracey, but on the other hand, the much bigger hand with orange cheesy fingertips, it's not that sad at all, I think it's pretty darn funny. 

What I like about it is it puts this image in my head of me eating Twisties while in line at the post office. I can picture it now, I'm there waiting to send Tracey a letter and by the time I get to the front of the line I've finished with the Twisties, so rather than bother trying to find a bin to put them in instead I just scrunch them into the envelope up against the letter. I figure Tracey'll probably be near a bin, she can just throw it out for me.

That's actually a pretty great idea, I should mail all my rubbish out to people. Imagine how much easier it would be to take the bins out on bin night if the bin was completely empty. And sure, if the bin was empty I wouldn't even need to take the bin out on bin night, but I still would anyway just to see the smile on the garbage mans face. And so you know what, yes, I now have a new business venture; Kenny Bintock's Junk Mail.

If you would like to sign up to receive Kenny Bintock's Junk Mail then all you have to do is send a self addressed stamped envelope to
Kenny Bintock. P.O Box 7127. Upper Ferntree Gully. Victoria. Australia. 3156.

And so in edition to a handwritten note you might also receive a banana peel, a bad drawing I scrunched up, a parking ticket, the lid to a yogurt... who knows what junk you'll get, that's the fun!

Ha, wait, this is terrible idea actually, I'm having second thoughts, it's possible that no-one is going to want my rubbish and by suggesting that you might it's probably only going to encourage you to send me yours. It's so rare that I receive mail, ha, so imagine how disappointing it would be if one of the few exciting times I did it was a lid to someones yogurt.

What's the opposite to junk? Whatever that is, let's send that to each other.

Anyway so the end of the story is that of course I sent Tracey some more Twisties, they came out of the kiln earlier in the week and I glazed them up good and first thing tomorrow morning I'll post them.

This time though rather than put the Twistie sculptures into a real Twisties packet I decided to make my own painting/sculpture of a Twisties packet specifically for Tracey's husband, I changed the words in a few places though, and so where the real packet normally says Twisties Cheese on my packet it says Tracey's squeeze.
Here's a shot of it twisting about in a little alley falling in with a bad crowd and making friends with an empty packet of smokes and a crushed bottle of iced tea.
And here it is again, this time in my favourite supermarket, amongst much more suitable companions;
While I was at the supermarket I couldn't help noticing that for a limited time only they're now selling Hot Dog flavoured Twisties. Did you know about this? Then why didn't you tell me?! 

I know they always say that ignorance is twist but I just had to know whether these Hotdog twisties really tasted like hot dogs, so I bought a pack.

Today is exactly 25 days from the City2Sea race that my buddy Alex and I are running in, and so in a last minute attempt at training for that on Sunday night Al and I went on a 4km hike up a mountain. When we finally reached the peak it was hotdog time.

And so here they are, hot dog flavoured Twisties in hotdog buns with mustard.
At this point a big boxing kangaroo hopped out from behind a tree so we asked her to please take a photo for us.
And here's another photo taken by her joey.
It kind of looks like we're about to be crushed by that falling tree behind us, but tree or no tree the hotdog flavoured Twisties were great. I think they actually do taste like hotdogs, ha, but maybe it's just all my head. They're very reddish in colour, at the very least I know that much isn't in my head.

After trying Hotdog flavoured Twisties in hot dog rolls with mustard it was only natural that earlier tonight when out to dinner with my pal I decided we ought to try Cheese flavoured Twisties on crackers.

And finally, the inevitable next step, a Chicken Twisties parmagiana.

One final note note about Twisties, because I am currently learning Italian, did you know that in Italy Twisties are called Fonzies? 

Apparently, (according to wikipedia), the Italian Fonzies are lighter in colour than Australian Twisties because "they do not use the bright orange food colouring", and also, unlike Australian Twisties, Fonzies are baked not fried. 

(I would amore to try them, so salve to any italiano readers out there, and if possible, per favore?)

Here's a photo that I found online of some guy holding a packet of Fonzies. 
And to finish it off, eeeeeeeeeeeeeey presto, here's a drawing I just did of Fonzie eating Fonzies.
And so yeah, thanks heaps for reading, ciao (that means cya), arrivederci (that means bye), and in conclusion (that's in english), I hope you've had a great day and that the week ahead is even greater, be sure to shake it up baby now, (shake it baby now), twistie and shout, (twistie and shout), c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon now baby now, (come on baby), c'mon and work it on out, (work it on out). 

You know you twistie little girl, (twistie little girl), you know you twistie so fine, (twistie so fine), c'mon and twistie little closer now, (twistie little closer), and let me know that you're mine, (twistie you're so sublime).

PS. For a second there I was considering throwing out my drawing of Fonzie eating Fonzies but I don't think I will, I think instead I'll keep it around just on the off chance that maybe you feel like signing up to Kenny Bintock's Junk Mail.
Acrylic and 225gsm paper. 21 x 29cm. 18.10.14


  1. There is so much in my head that I need to go BLAH and type it all out without trying to put it into any sort of order.

    First, Pete says hi and asks if you have any great ideas for future productions.

    Next, how does this Art stuff work? Aren’t all gallery’s gagging to exhibit Pittock? Can I be the NZ agent… and then collect 45% of the proceeds of sale? Dam I’d do that in a heartbeat… you’re a sure thing.

    And that Xfactor guy’s name was Dean…not Dan, as most Australians would guess instantly. I don’t watch that programme… but maybe I had a lull… and I watched the last two episodes and well, yeah, Dean is good. So it is a two episode viewing habit. It is unlikely to last; I’m not a fan of reality TV, but still I hope he wins (maybe he already has…. And the time zone difference means I just don’t know yet).

    That twistee story had a turn I did not expect. A tragic turn. Imagine losing the best twistee. I can’t. It is unfathomable, but it has happened. Any in Germany, so now it’s an international incident. The mode of delivery was a work of art thought…. Quite brilliant.

    And why did you decide to learn Italian? Why not Aborigine? Or kiwi?

    This is a rubbish comment which is not flowing well at all. But I have an excuse. My French friends asked me to their place for dinner. But being French, dinner is not until 7.30pm (which may as well be breakfast in my book). So I bought potato chips and ate them, in conjunction with drinking some gin and coke…. Coke max. I know, but there was no tonic and lemon season (at my place) is over. And I had to have gin because I am nervous that these French people are going to make snails, then insist I eat them. I’m anxious.

    I think this comment is over, but because of my state, I reserve the right to post another within the coming 5 working days (using NZ time – which is important because Monday is a holiday).

    1. Hey Paul, ha, thanks heaps, that's great Peter Jackson says hi, I've got plenty of ideas I'm sure he'll be interested in, tell him he can give me a ring anytime. I imagine he's pretty good at ringing, given all the movies he's made about one.

      Ha, yeah sure, you can be my NZ agent, all I really have to go off in terms of NZ agents is the agent from Flight Of The Conchords, and so if you're half as competent I'm sure I'm in safe hands.

      Dean? Dan? Don't be so hard on yourself, his name doesn't matter, what matters is that he's got the X-factor, or that he's got talent, or is an idol, or is the biggest loser, or is a master chef. I don't know who you're talking about but I'm sure he's great. Hopefully at the very least he thinks he can dance.

      I started learning Italian before I went there earlier this year and so I've just stuck at it, some close people in my life also speak Italian which is perfecto as they're very generously helping me as well.

      Sorry to hear that you ain't got no limoni. Lemon season is in full swing at my place, no need for any gin or coke, I'm drinking nothing but sweet, sweet tap water with lemon squeezed in it for the rest of my days. Thanks heaps the comment, all the best, Kenny.

  2. You sound cheesy