Saturday, June 28, 2014

Mistakes were made

Hey, so you know about "Throwback Thursday" yeah? It's a thing people say when they put something from a while ago onto social media. Often it's a photo of them as a kid, and then I think the point of it is for everyone who sees the photo to comment on it saying how adorable the person was.

I've never done a #ThrowbackThursday, (or #tbt), but just so you get an idea of what it might look like, here's a photo of me washing the dishes, taken a couple of months before I turned two years old.
Now compare that with a photo taken today of me at 26 unloading a dishwasher, and it's pretty clear I'm a lot less cute now. That's why #ThrowbackThursday is so effective.
The reason I bring it up is because a few days ago I was included in a kind of #ThrowbackThursday, well nobody actually labelled it as "Throwback Thursday", but I'm pretty sure the only reason for that is because it was on a Tuesday. 

So yeah, last Tuesday the legend Jon Campbell posted a photo of the big novelty cheque painting that my buddy Dan and I made for him back in 2012. 

Ch-ch-ch-ch-cheque it out.
(For more context on the cheque painting I wrote a thing all about it back on November 1st, 2012, so #ThrowbackSaturday, click here if you'd like to read it.)
Anyway the reason I bring it up is because I really enjoyed being a part of a #ThrowbackThursday, so much so that I thought for todays blog post I might try and come up with something vaguely similar; it's called "#DraftblogSaturday". 

So basically #dbs is a blog post within a blog post, and what you're about to read is a post that's been saved in my draft folder since the end of 2012. It was never good enough to post at the time I wrote it but I'm going to post it now, that's how #DraftblogSaturday works.

And so without further adu, here's one from the vault, it's called "I made a Mistake", and it goes a little something like this;

I made a mistake
Every single day I spend my time making mistakes and being upset about it, this week however I made a mistake that doesn't seem to eat at me the way the others do.
It's acrylic on kiln fired ceramic, and is 21.5cm x 3cm x 3cm. 
The chocolate bar it's based on is called a Flake, but I've changed the text on the sculpture to Mistake.. Ha, I'm sure you already know that but I figure I should say it anyway just in case you don't have Flake's where you live. 
If you don't know what a Flake is they're essentially the same thing as a Twirl chocolate bar, except without the outer layer of chocolate coating. I guess though if you don't know what a Flake is you probably don't know what a Twirl is either.
Anyway I also changed the wrapper tagline to THE CRUMBLIEST HIT YOU WON'T LAST A DAY WITHOUT and changed the logo from Cadbury to Sadbury. I think we can all agree that satire doesn't get much more biting than that.
Here's a study I did of it before I made the sculpture. It's acrylic on 21 x 29cm 225 gsm paper.
And here's a couple of photos from earlier today when I took the Mistake to the supermarket.
The woman at the register was so great, she picked up the Mistake sculpture and we had a little conversation about mistakes. When I told her how I'm always pulling at my hair over my mistakes she told me she has a poster of Jim Morrison with a quote of his saying that says "Some of the greatest mistakes I ever made were haircuts".
It was particularly apt as I'd already planned for my pal Cherie to give me a haircut that afternoon. The haircut was no mistake, although what was a mistake was having the haircut while sitting in a tiny chair that I'd found in hard rubbish. I leaned back on the chair and it broke.
And she tied you to her kitchen chair, and she took your thrown and she cut your hair, and from your lips she drew the mistake-elujah.
This blog post is ridiculous, and probably another mistake, maybe I should've just shown a photo of the Mistake sculpture and left it at that.

Ha, and so that's where it ended. I probably should've posted it at the time, I've posted up a lot worse blog posts than that one. Anyway thanks for indulging me in the first ever #DraftblogSaturday. 

Before I wrap this up though I've got another Throwback to mention; do you remember me telling you how I put Rudolph's red nose onto the front of my car last December?
Well I still haven't taken the nose off, in fact here I am right now writing this blog post out in the cold while sitting next to it.
Usually I feel a bit silly with the red nose on the car, but yesterday I didn't because yesterday was Red Nose Day.

But Red Nose Day is one thing, it turns out that yesterday was also Red Walls Day, as around about lunch time I went to go see the new show on at West Space and while walking past the Starbucks on Bourke Street I spotted a wall that was straight out of a horror movie.
It was pretty shocking and terrible but nobody around seemed to have noticed, it's only because I happened to be looking in the window that I spotted it. I guess if you'd wanted coffee you'd have found out though because the store was police taped off, and inside was police, paramedics, and security.
Pretty scary yeah? How do you even get blood to splatter like that? I asked one security guards what'd happened, he said he didn't know, but I guess he has to say that.
The blood looked thin, the same kind of hue and consistency as the blood I saw from that guy who cracked his skull open at Flinders Street Station. (Another #ThrowbackThursday, here's where I wrote about that).
Pretty soon a real life true detective turned up, unfortunately it wasn't Matthew McConaughey, it wasn't even Ice-T from Law And Order, but even still, he looked just like a detective from TV.
Ice-T might not have been there but I did spot one wrapper, which made me a bit sad to see that my beloved Subway had somehow been roped into all this mess.
I couldn't stick around too long, and so I left with no answers. I've since tried to Google it and found no results, if you've heard anything let me know as I'd love to hear what went down. 

One thing I did spot as I turned the corner from Bourke Street onto Swanston was a handcuffed man standing next a canvas Tote bag that was also splattered with blood. So I don't know, if I was a true detective I'd probably start my investigation by speaking with him.
Earlier tonight I made my way back to the crime scene just to see if all the evidence of the day before was well and truly gone. It was, of course, and I ordered myself a Grande cup of chai latte.

And so yeah, I made a mistake using ceramics, Jim Morrison made his mistakes at the hairdressers and I don't know how, but I guess that handcuffed guy had most likely made some kind of mistake as well. 

Anyway here's a photo of me leaning on the wall that yesterday was covered in blood, feeling like I'm in an Edward Hopper painting and dunking a Flake bar in my chai. Ain't life Grande.


  1. yo, i work in the building next to this starbucks and i used my true detective skillz on the day to find the truth: two homeless men had a fight "over a newspaper and a chair" in starbucks. so, you know, how most blood feuds start.

    1. Hey Anony, thanks so much for leaving a comment! What building next to Starbucks do you work in? How can you tell the two men were homeless? Who are you quoting when you used those quotation marks? But yes, definitely I agree, it does get pretty heated between people in a cafe when they both want to read the one newspaper that the cafe has on offer. I've never got in a blood feud over it but I can certainly see how it could happen. And then of course the blood feud would be reported in the news. And it would be in the following days newspaper and two other people will have a blood feud over it. And the circle of feud continues. Anyway thanks again for the comment, hope you're having a great day that's free of feuds and you're keeping all your blood to yourself, (unless you've been to a blood bank, in which case good on you!). Kenny.