If you are reading this sentence then you are unique. Out of the 7 billion humans alive on this big old planet not one of them except you has read this blog.
Actually that's not entirely true. Over this week it's had 11 "hits". 8 from Russia, 2 from Germany and 1 from Malaysia. But surely all of them were mistakes.
Chances are that you reading this, yes you, are here by mistake as well. But even still, please do read on, and I can only hope that these sentences have been accurately translated into your language.
Because no-one is deliberately reading this I really have no obligation to talk about the fifth time I wore the "Elect ron" t-shirt. I'm not sure if even I'm still interested. Nevertheless, I started this and I'll finish it.
Here's a quick re-cap for any new reader, (I apologise to all you Russians, Germans and that Malaysian who have heard it all before); the other day I went to an open day at the Australian Synchrotron, (a synchrotron is an electron accelerator), and as I was leaving I bought a t-shirt that I thought said "Electron" but actually says "Elect ron". The pun isn't too bad I guess but the tshirt is way too tight around the collar and it chokes me like one of those constricting snakes and I hate it and I want to get rid of it. Before I do though I want to wear it enough to feel that I've got my moneys worth for it. It cost $10 so wearing it ten times, a dollar a wear, is what I decided seems appropriate.
I've already talked about the first 4 times I wore it and so I'll now get into number five.
The fifth time I wore the t-shirt was when I went to Oslo Davis' book launch at Perimeter Books in Thornbury. His book, Library land, is a collection of drawings he did during a residency at the Melbourne Library. Basically it's a book of sketches he did of people at the library. It's pretty similar to what I'd like to do one day with my train drawings.
Oslo was a nice guy, he didn't really look like an Oslo though. When I picture an Oslo I kind of picture Hunter Thompson's attorney in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, whereas this Oslo looked more like a Tom or a Paul.
Uh, what a goofball I am. I certainly look like a Kenny.
So there you go, numero fiveo. Thanks for reading, my dear pals in Russia, Germany and Malaysia.
I wonder if you read all the way to the end here before you clicked away. I wonder even if it actually was 8 different Russians, maybe the same Russian kept coming back. If you are that Russian please do let me know.
If you tell me your name I could even begin these blog entries by writing "dear Yakov". Although I'd probably only do that if your name actually is Yakov. If, for example, you tell me your name is Rebecca, then I might not call you Yakov.